Lessons from The Odd Couple.
Florence: Why do you want me to live with you?
Olive: Because . . . I'm lonely. That's why.
Florence: I never thought of you being lonely. You have so many friends.
Olive: Friends go home at eleven o'clock. . .
I'm lonely.
Two words that most of us think about.
Few let them out of their mouths.
Even fewer tell another soul . . .
I'm lonely.
Legacy opens The Odd Couple Female Version on April 22, 2022. Each night, as Olive and Florence (played by Kati Meyer and Kandee Arencibia) utter the above dialogue, I can't help but think of the times I feel lonely. I can't help but think about the pandemic of loneliness sweeping the globe.
A few days ago, The New York Times published an article called How Loneliness Is Damaging Our Health. In the article, the author defines and explains what he calls "an epidemic of loneliness" affecting our lives and physical health since before the pandemic.
Harvard Health Publishing just published a study about the effects of loneliness on dementia. The study found that lonely people ages 60 to 79 were three times more likely to develop dementia than their counterparts who did not report feeling lonely.
Both the UK and, more recently, Japan have appointed ministers of loneliness to help the crisis of loneliness sweeping their countries.
We, as a society, are lonely.
Both abroad.
And at home.
When Legacy presented the male version of The Odd Couple in 2015, someone came up to me after the show and said it was her favorite show we had produced. I was shocked, as she had seen all of our productions up to that point. I couldn't believe a story of six zany men was her favorite. When I asked her why she told me she was in a painful relationship and was considering divorce. She was lonely in her marriage and had few friends with whom she could trust and share her heart. After seeing the show, she knew she could fight the pain if she could just "find her people." She knew it would all work out if she could just find that small group of people who loved her.
Seven years from our first showing, we take The Odd Couple to the stage with Neil Simon's Female Version. The story that Kandee, Kati, and the cast tell through their characters is just as poignant and life-changing as it was back then . . . even more so as the script is so much more nuanced than the male version. (In all due respect, Neil Simon!)
So . . . How do we fight the loneliness plaguing us, our kids, teens, and communities? I think the answer comes in what our patron told us and what Florence and Olive show us . . . we fight loneliness in community.
That fact is painfully obvious but much easier said than done.
While we all don't want to feel lonely, few of us take steps to come out of our cocoons to embrace community.
Loneliness, I dare say, becomes our comfortable "friend."
Since the pandemic, it's been especially easy to isolate. Food is delivered to our homes, movies, products, groceries, and you can even watch Broadway shows from your couch. Add in the false "connection" of social media and working from home, and there's no reason you ever have to leave. This cultural moment has made it very easy to isolate and isolation, while painful, becomes extremely comfortable.
Still, the fact remains that we fight loneliness in community.
You can get a dog, exercise, eat right, keep busy, and practice all the self-care in the world.
But nothing beats face-to-face contact with someone you love and trust.
As I reflect on the opening of The Odd Couple, I see two characters who are incredibly different from one another. Yet, loneliness and a bit of desperation drive them together. Together, they bicker, laugh, argue, have fun, and most importantly, grow as women.
When Olive gets up the nerve to tell a newly separated Florence, "You can live here," . . . everything begins to change. And in community, they heal, they learn, and they grow.
The theatre has a powerful way of making murky moments crystal clear.
There are many moments in The Odd Couple that have affected my life personally. As the Director of this show, I get the privilege to sit in on every rehearsal. I've analyzed every line and crafted every step. And every night, something new hits me as Kandee and Kati, along with their cast members, tell the story of Florence and Olive . . . this very Odd Couple.
Because of this show, pains from my past have become clear and have begun to heal. I've grown as a woman and hopefully as a leader and friend. And day by day, I am learning to "throw the damn cup."
If you feel lonely and want to experience the love of community, you are always welcome at Legacy. This is a safe place where you will be shown the love of Jesus, the joy of art, the beauty of community, and its healing. Whether as a volunteer, performer, or working behind the scenes . . . you are welcome. Feel free to call us at 910-548-6323, and let's talk.
If you need to speak to someone now, consider calling The Crisis Text Line and contacting one of their counselors. https://www.crisistextline.org. You are not alone. You have a purpose and are a treasure to this world!
We hope you will join us for Neil Simon's The Odd Couple Female Version on April 22-24 and 29-May 1. It is a funny show, with talented actors and a great story. I am very proud of this production. I hope it affects you as wonderfully as it has me!
